What You Mean to Me
By Katie Prosapio
I don’t deserve this-any of this;
I don’t deserve to wake up to a solitary beam
Of sunlight warming my soul.
To be able to feel a melodic heartbeat
Pulsing slowly, as water’s waves
Speaking of your forgiveness forever.
To listen quietly the sweet foretelling of your soul
To feel my name spoken in every twilight
Every breath the dusk exhales after a forever-long day.
You are too good to me,
And I can’t comprehend all the ways in which you love me;
Your beauty is in every thought,
Every whisper,
In every silence that cannot be contained, even by the water’s depths.
You are there.
And though you have a million other children, I’m still special to you.
Who …
Are you?
Is like you?
Can come to your throne room?
Surely not I, Lord. For you are too holy
And I am mere man. My life is but a breath.
When …
Will I trace your face for the first time?
Will your grace run dry?
You tell me never
And I don’t know how this can be.
BUT I BELIEVE
That you are truer than the deepest hue of scarlet
That dances on the sunset.
Light reflected down to me, shining like prisms in precious gems
Upon those faces of those you love.
How do you love me, my God?
Where can I go that you are not?
I could never love you this way-
The way you love me, though I try,
I make excuses and I forget you
And I think too much that I’m okay without you sometimes
That I already know all there is to know about you.
I don’t take you seriously.
And I forget you. I don’t try to
It just happens, no matter how hard I will against it.
In this mortal body, my Spirit cries for deliverance.
So today, maybe I’ll wrap a flag around me,
Or pray for blurred faces of a magazine that need you.
Today I’ll try to love you,
To somehow express the ways in which I love you
Though these things you must already know.
Lord, sometimes I wonder what would happen
If every one took you seriously.
